Something that confused me for a while after watching the "Professional impact" Youtube
video. I have known it works after tring at driving range but I am confused how can I unclock my left wrist so quickly on down swing. Until today I came realized what "flat wrist" means.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Sunday, May 6, 2007
Paradox of Influcence
How can I influence someone to my point of view?
1. Invest Time: Begin at the end, what is the outcome you need? What is the likely outcome they need? Research how the person fits into, or doesn't fit into, the situation. Identifying what you know and what you don't know from other sources. Next, plan the meeting. What questions will you ask? What quesitons are you likely to be asked? Schedule a face-to-face where you won't be disturbed. Depending on the issue and the circumstances, you may need to meet several times.
2. Focus: Focus all of yourr concentration and attention on the other person. Your mind works four to five times faster the nthe average person talks so it takes concentrated effort to focus all of your thinking on the other person. Train yourself not to mentally challenge (in your mind), but to accept, everything they say. It is the only way you can truely listen to everything they say. Be genuinely interested, lean into the conversation; it is terribly flattering.
3. Ask Questions: Ask quesitons about their favorite subject, themselves. Ask about their background, accomplishements, the biggest problems or challenges now or in the past, and what they think the future holds short and long term, etc. In most cases, it's desirable (1)to have questions well in mind by writing them ahead of time, and (2) to take notes, you'll need them later.
4. Reveal: Share some brief, not too personal, information about yourself. You don't want to convey the impression that you're interrogating the other person; you do want to build a relationship. And what you do reveal should parallel what they have revealed.
5. Ask for Opinions: Ask the other person for opinions about the issue(s) you wantto discuss. Be a reporter; ask quesitons that start with what, where, when, how, who and [judiciously] why, being careful not to raise defenses with your why questions. Soften your voice, slow your rate of speech, and get a slightlhy pussled look on your face when you ask why questions. Selectively ask, "How is the important to you?"
6. Listen Actively: Truely listen, carefully and actively (nod your head, use encouragers like, Humm, Interesting, and Then What) , and keep taking notes, if appropriate. It's not only flattering for you to put their words in writing, but it also helps you remember, and you both know you have a record.
7. Summarize: After you have exhausted your questions, summarize what the other prson said in three to five key points(from your notes. Then ask: "Have I got it" If you don't have it exactly right, she'll set you straight on-the-spot. Make adjustments to your summary statements until the other person says, "Yes, you've got it." Do NOT move to Step 8 until you get this response. Why? The Paradox of Influence: People must first be convinced they thoroughly and completely influence you before you can influence hem!
1. Invest Time: Begin at the end, what is the outcome you need? What is the likely outcome they need? Research how the person fits into, or doesn't fit into, the situation. Identifying what you know and what you don't know from other sources. Next, plan the meeting. What questions will you ask? What quesitons are you likely to be asked? Schedule a face-to-face where you won't be disturbed. Depending on the issue and the circumstances, you may need to meet several times.
2. Focus: Focus all of yourr concentration and attention on the other person. Your mind works four to five times faster the nthe average person talks so it takes concentrated effort to focus all of your thinking on the other person. Train yourself not to mentally challenge (in your mind), but to accept, everything they say. It is the only way you can truely listen to everything they say. Be genuinely interested, lean into the conversation; it is terribly flattering.
3. Ask Questions: Ask quesitons about their favorite subject, themselves. Ask about their background, accomplishements, the biggest problems or challenges now or in the past, and what they think the future holds short and long term, etc. In most cases, it's desirable (1)to have questions well in mind by writing them ahead of time, and (2) to take notes, you'll need them later.
4. Reveal: Share some brief, not too personal, information about yourself. You don't want to convey the impression that you're interrogating the other person; you do want to build a relationship. And what you do reveal should parallel what they have revealed.
5. Ask for Opinions: Ask the other person for opinions about the issue(s) you wantto discuss. Be a reporter; ask quesitons that start with what, where, when, how, who and [judiciously] why, being careful not to raise defenses with your why questions. Soften your voice, slow your rate of speech, and get a slightlhy pussled look on your face when you ask why questions. Selectively ask, "How is the important to you?"
6. Listen Actively: Truely listen, carefully and actively (nod your head, use encouragers like, Humm, Interesting, and Then What) , and keep taking notes, if appropriate. It's not only flattering for you to put their words in writing, but it also helps you remember, and you both know you have a record.
7. Summarize: After you have exhausted your questions, summarize what the other prson said in three to five key points(from your notes. Then ask: "Have I got it" If you don't have it exactly right, she'll set you straight on-the-spot. Make adjustments to your summary statements until the other person says, "Yes, you've got it." Do NOT move to Step 8 until you get this response. Why? The Paradox of Influence: People must first be convinced they thoroughly and completely influence you before you can influence hem!
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